Archive | July, 2012


24 Jul

The past few weeks have shed some massive light on dark corners of my life.  It’s no secret that some days you feel up and others down and who you surround yourself with effects you daily.  As of late, I have surrounded myself with the best core group of friends I have ever had.  Edd Blott, Luis Garcia, Adam and Heather Davis, Aris Juson, Helenna Santos Levy, Barry Morgan, Leah Cevoli, Drew Garrettson, Kevin Martin, Rick and Val Strange…the list could go on for some time.  And to top it off…we all are in the same biz!

Even with some good reflection…I can think of things I need to do to better myself.  One of the biggest things that pops into my head is the fact that I am 27 years old and single when almost everyone around me is in a relationship or married and has kids.  It can, at times, get a little depressing.  Top that off with me still being sick and it’s an algorithm for a wonderful case of depression.

This is one of the main reasons I have been wanting to be around my friends so much lately.  They make me want to laugh, be goofy, and just try and enjoy life.  If it’s one thing this years has done so far, it’s bring some awesome new people into my life.  Friends in LA, friends in Portland.  It’s awesome to feel loved and at times…needed.

I think this is why it saddens me a little bit to be taking some time to get myself better.  Why does THAT sadden me?  Because I feel almost obsolete in this world if I am not being a workhorse or being creative.  I LOVE what I do.  I LOVE writing.  I LOVE filming.  And several people have told me to take a break for a month or so and focus on getting better.  I can honestly say for the past few weeks I have not done that.

We all launched a new Youtube channel where we can just be silly.  We can write skits, do parodies, and film some cool things we love to do without the strain and eyes of other peers.  It’s refreshing and fun and we don’t have to be all uber professional!  Too many people think that you need to be in the world of indie film these days.  It’s a sad state of affairs.  This new YT channel has also let some of us get things off our chest in a way.  It’s been healthy.  And we will continue to crank content out weekly!

But back to this small state of depression I have been feeling.  I realized that I have a self destruct button when it comes to relationships..or just being happy in general.  Now..I won’t blame it ALL on me..but def. some things.  I get comfortable and it scares me.  I’m not quite sure why.  Maybe it’s because I have never really been stable in my life and when things aren’t “moving” I feel stagnant and dull.  Maybe it’s because I think sometimes that life should play out like a movie.  I could always use the cop out and say it was my childhood…but I won’t blame that (even thought I had some horrible times as a kid).

This is one of those dark corners that tends to refuse light, regardless of what gets thrown at it.  Relationships are the biggest thing and I need to figure it out.  I reflect back on quite a few relationships I have had and can pinpoint the exact moments where each one went wrong.  There’s a reason why I am 27 years old and single.  Not that I don’t mind being single…but there’s so many things I would rather enjoy with someone.  I think a lot of this stems from recently having someone tell me something that has made me doubt myself in this aspect.  I have always been one who is full of confidence…but not lately.  It has somewhat disappeared entirely.

Hopefully over the next few months I can try my damnedest to come to a conclusion with all of this.  Some sort of reason.

Now..I am sure some of you are reading this going “What an emo post!”.  Well…you can f^*k off!  This is how I figure things out.  I write about my life.  It gives me a clear head.  So…with that said…I bid you all farewell for a bit!  Please feel free to leave a comment or two!


PS…I went with all my boys to see “The Dark Knight Rises” on opening night.  The movie was glorious up until the final act!  It was at this point I almost wanted to demand my friggin’ money back!  I never thought that another movie would disappoint me as much as “Prometheus” until TDKR!  Not even a cowl and cape can disguise what crap it was!  This summer has been the worst to date for films!  Here’s hoping “The Expendables 2” and “Total Recall” will try and save face for it a little bit!


VIDCON 2012 – Part 1

4 Jul

So, myself along with “Legendary” director Barry Morgan, BTS and Youtube up and comer, Annie Bardosnski, and actor Brian Macewand, headed to Anaheim, California for Vidcon 2012 last week.  We were invited to screen the “Legendary” trailer and wanted to set up meetings with studios and distribution /production companies.  The trip…ended up ebing a massive success!

We arrived in Anaheim and stayed the first night at the Anaheim Plaza Hotel.  The festivities got started with Annie and Barry downing a fifth of Fireball and hittin’ up the pool where Annie tried to drunkenly beat up Barry!  Hilarious!

The following day we woke and hit up Downtown Disney.  We wanted to swim more and the Disney Hotel’s pool and water slides caught our attention.  A quick step towards the gate as someone left let us prop it open and get in where we enjoyed poolside service, several water slides, and the most amazing Tiki bar I have ever been too called “Trader Sams”.

Disney Hotel’s wonderful pool area that we snuck into!

That night, we met up with several of the “Legendary” cast at the VIDCON pre-party at the Anaheim K-1 Speedway!  We pulled in and new we were at the right spot when we saw tons of Youtube and new media fans holding signs up and sporting shirts that said things such as “Felicia Day…I love you!”.  We were joined by “Legendary’s” Executive Producer, Guido Orio, and one of ‘Legendary’s” actors, Drew Garrettson.  We made our way through the crowd and that’s about the time when a helicopter came in and landed.  Drew Baldwin of Tubefilter exited to announce that the “Streamy Awards” are returning.  What an entrance!

Fans in all their crazy glory!

…And more craziness.

The pre-party was fun and laid back and they served free margaritas!  “Legendary’s” Leah Cevoli was holdin’ down registration as she helped out one of the party’s sponsors, MOBLI Helenna Santos Levy met us outside and we headed in and mingled with all types of people.  I met a cool babe named Lindsay MC who told she’d been traveling around the country and posting her “episodes” on Mobli’s site!  Check them out!

“Legendary’s” Direcor Barry Morgan and Actress Helenna Santos Levy.

When everyone got a bit burnt on the party, we bailed and found an AWESOME dive bar in Anaheim where we continued the night’s festivities with talk and pool!  I repped portland pretty hard by drinkin’ nothin but tall boys of PBR all night!

We miraculously found a dive bar in Anaheim and it was dope!

The one and only Helenna Santos Levy!

The next night brought us to the  “W Hotel” on Hollywood BLVD for a red carpet event called the “New Media Vault Summer Kick Off Party”.   Helenna Santos Levy, Barry Levy, Leah Cevoli, and Stephanie Thorpe met us there and we also invited some of our Portland transplants who are now living in LA!  “Forty Weight’s” Maren Mcquire and Joe Antone, Guido Orio and his wife, Eve, Mckenzie Coffee, and Drew Garrettson, all showed up.  Portland was rollin’ heavy up in that place!  We had several photo ops, met many industry peeps, and just had an all around grand time (even though a drink was $17)!  A big thanks to Damian Pelliccione of “Web Tv Workshop” and “new Media Vault” for setting the event up!

Orio, J.Lee, Brian, and Barry being themselves.

Helenna Santos Levy And Stephanie Thorpe!

Maddie D. and myself!

Portland in the house! J.Lee, Brian Macewand, Mckenzie Coffee, Barry Morgan, Guido Orio, Joe Antone, Maren Mcguire, and Drew Garrettson.

Leah Cevoli, Annie Bardonski, and Hels!

Friday saw Day #1 of VIDCON for us!  We arrived at the Anaheim Convention Center at about 11Am and collected our badges and goodies and met up with Hels, Orio, and Drew.  The first place we headed into was the expo hall.  It was packed with people, booths, and large showcase sponsors like Machinima and Maker Studios.  Machinima had an awesome main stage erected just to the left when you walked in!

“Whats Trending” W/ Shira Lazar live show on Machinima’s main stage!

Hels and I ran into one of new media’s greatest men and a wonderful friend of both of ours at the “Big Frame” lounge area, Mr. Paul Kontonis!

J.Lee and Paul Kontonis, who just launched Openslate!

Orio and I branched off to go check out a panel on building an audience and watch the “Legendary” Trailer’s first screening.  The panel was pretty awesome yet it was geared mainly for the younger Youtube crowd.  The ladies from the popular channel “The Hillywood show” talked mainly, sharing their experiences and thoughts on building and maintaining an audience.

“Building An Audience” Panel

Barry and I also got to snag a first look at the new animated series, “Scottish Ninjas”, which is friggin’ amazing!

The “Scottish Ninjas” Booth.

J.Lee with “Scottish Ninjas” co-creator, Rob Mullin.

Hels introduced us to several of Machinima’s “Bite Me” cast and crew (which happens to be my all time favorite web series so this was quite a big deal for me!).  Everyone hit it off and we pretty much hung out for the majority of Vidcon!

The “Bite Me” Direcotr, Jarrett Lee Conaway and the entire cast, along with Hels and me!

Orio, Dani Lennon (Bite Me), and Hels.

I also had the chance of chatting with Felicia Day and Wil Wheaton towards the end of the day.  Afterwards, they played the game “Tabletop” at the Geek And Sundry booth to a mass of fans!  Cool peeps!

Wil Wheaton of “Star Trek”, “The Guild”, and “The Big Bang Theory” fame.

Felicia Day of “The Guild” getting ready to begin her panel.

Everyone was playing tabletop games at the “Geek And Sundry” booth.

The day ended with us checking out the Vidcon concert in the arena and then meeting up with Jarrett Lee Conaway (Bite Me’s Director), Al Thompson (Family guy, A Walk To Remember), Tim Street (New Media guru, Nickelodeon’s “All that”), and Heather Abbey (Alphabird) and slingin’ a few back in the Hilton Lobby’s bar then directing traffic to the Dennys down the street!  What a day!

The Arena was packed as several Youtube personalities took to the stage and got the crowd hyped. i have no idea who half the damn “Youtube clebs” are!

The Hilton Hotel Lobby Bar….glasses were dropped, people fell into the fountain, asses were grabbed, and Annie Bardonski accosted TONS of drunk men! Ha!


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